


More Than He Deserved

by TheMightyZan



Category: Alice (2009)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3108119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMightyZan/pseuds/TheMightyZan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hatter's change in heart over the course of the movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than He Deserved

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: This is the first fanfiction I ever wrote ever. ^.^

He wasn't sure when his feelings changed. Maybe while standing at the fire, watching the orange light playing off her skin, and seeing the look of conviction in her face as she stood by her decision to find and help her boyfriend. Maybe the next morning when he had noticed she was gone, and his stomach had dropped to his knees in fear of what he knew she had left to do. No, he could not remember when the exact moment was, all he knew was that they had. They had become something that he did not even know he was capable of feeling, care for someone other than himself, fear for their life over his own. It terrified him, and fascinated him at the same time, and he had no defenses with which to deal with it.

It had started out as mere curiosity, and the hopes of a payoff, that had caused him to offer his help to her. He didn't really care whether she found who she was looking for or not, though he enjoyed making her uneasy, and keeping her on her toes, all the while spinning her hope that his "people" could help.

Then it was the guilt, after his contacts had turned on them, that had caused him to chase Dodo down, in the hopes of helping her to get away. At least, that was the biggest part. He could not lie to himself, and say that there was not also the hope of getting back for the gunshot, and taking out his anger over it. He had never been one to kill for what he wanted, well kill an innocent for it at least, and it angered him that he was put down as filth by someone who would.

She had come back for him. When she could have gotten away, could have made the safer choice, she came back to help him. He couldn't remember anyone ever coming back for him before, knew he had never done it for anyone else. He had never had the feeling of knowing that there was someone there covering his back, and helping him to escape. He thought everyone had the same idea when it came to that, you saved yourself, everyone else was a liability, and yet there was this girl, who didn't even know him, who had put herself in danger to get him out.

Her anger over his lie had been brilliant. The flash in her eyes had increased the guilt, and forced in his mind the need to help her, at least in keeping her safe in the city, where he had already almost gotten her hurt.

He told himself that was all there was to it, and that it had nothing to do with the way her anger made him want to prove he was not all bad. Maybe he was fooling himself even then.

He had always played two sides, never caring whether he was fully trusted or not. He never expected to be, because that was who he was. Charming, witty, and completely false. She changed that.

When he went to summon the Jabberwock, and tried to get her to hide, he had been hoping to do the right thing. While it annoyed him that she would not listen to his pleas, it also did something strange to him when she grabbed his arm and refused. When the Jabberwock chased her, and not him, it clinched his chest further, and he knew for the first time what it was to be afraid for someone other than himself. That in and of itself was a new feeling for him.

The longer she went with not telling him she trusted him, the more he wanted her too. He could not explain the feeling he had in his chest when she refused to answer his questions of belief, and he could never understand why he needed to hear it, but the pain of that refusal was as vibrant and real as his need to breath.

He supposed he should not complain, after all she showed little signs of trust. More than anyone else had ever given to him, even while she never said it out loud. Leaping into his arms from the interrogation room, getting onto the back of the flamingo despite her fear, after he promised her it was safe, telling him he had integrity, even though his rescue of her had nothing to do with integrity, and everything to do with the fear he had of something happening to her. She even showed it in telling him about Jack being engaged, her expression wounded, and her eyes filled with hurt. She agreed to give him a chance to talk to the resistance, agreed to wait a day, and without knowing it, she had shown more faith in him than anyone else, ever.

After his return, she had told him she was afraid he wasn't coming back. While he had tried to brush it off with a joke, his heart had trembled at the fact that her eyes showed concern. She was worried, about whether he had changed his mind, or that he might have been hurt, he didn't care. He had eased the worry by returning, and he hoped she would take that to mean he would always keep his promises to her. He didn't want to break his word to her ever, not even by an act not his own.

His heart fell completely when he saw the fear in her eyes as she asked what would happen to her. Nothing, he would never let anything happen to her. He wanted her to rely on him, lean on him, think of him when she needed comfort. There had never been anything sweeter, in his eyes, then when he leaned in to kiss her, and she had tilted her head up to close the gap. He told her he thought her luck was changing, and he desperately wanted to be the one to change it, to be the one she could count on.

Jack's interruption brought him back to reality, to who he was, and was not, and to who she had been trying to get to the entire time she had been in Wonderland. Who she trusted more, despite the lies that had been told over and over again. It hurt, more than he had reckoned it could, and in a way that he hadn't known was possible. It also made him realize she had power over him, power no one had ever had before.

He was no prince, never would be. He would never be any better than he already was, a second rate tea shop owner, who had nothing to his name, nothing to offer, and he knew, knew, she deserved better. His heart broke when she assumed he was going with them, and he told her he wasn't. He could barely hold in his scream of frustration when she asked him what he would do, and his throat closed even as he smiled at her and told her he would be fine.

He surprised even himself when he found that he was following them later. He had been heading to the woods, intent to stick to his word about hiding in them. He realized he couldn't though. Couldn't make himself turn away from her, couldn't make himself pretend like it didn't matter what happened to her. He would follow whether she wanted his help or not, simply to make sure, and to be there if she needed catching.

She screamed for him when he was captured. The worry in her voice apparent even as she was dragged away. It helped him to hang on, to suffer through the torture at the hands of the Doctors. She had screamed for them to let him go. She didn't want him captured, hurt, it was more care than anyone had ever shown him before, more than he had ever thought he deserved. He didn't talk because he wanted to be strong, to show he had more to offer then bribes and schemes, and could do for the resistance what the rest claimed to do every day, give his all for it.

He wanted her to be proud.

Breaking out, and finding her was luck. Luck, which had never been on his side until that moment. He thanked whoever was listening that he had gotten there in time to help her take out the suits that were threatening her, glad that he could keep her safe again. He soaked in her hug like a drowning man sucked in air, relishing her words. She was worried he was dead, she was worried about him. Not about what he could get done, not about who he might have hurt, but about him. He could stay like that forever, holding her tightly and pretending, for a moment, that it meant something more. She said she trusted him completely, and he clung to that. She said it, meant it, giving him something he had never had before. He could never repay that, no matter how many times he came after her, with one word she had changed his world completely.

He hadn't forgotten, not completely, he reminded himself of this as he walked into the mirror chamber, and saw her hugging Jack, smiling so brightly, a smile she had never shown him. He was still himself, circumstances had not changed, he still had nothing to offer. Their goodbye was stilted and awkward. He tried to smile and joke, but every other word in his mind was something that he could not say. Stay with me, give me a chance, look at me, just once like you do at him. It was cut off too soon, and then she was gone, just gone, almost like she had never been there. It might be easy to forget that she had, if it hadn't been for the hole that had opened up in his heart, threatening to swallow him whole.

It was days after that it came to him, a sudden realization that had needed him to step away before he was able to see it. He remembered her confusion when he told her he was coming to say goodbye, remembered her hesitation before saying that she had had enough of Wonderland. He remembered the look in her eyes when she said they could do lots of other things, if he came to visit. How he hoped he was remembering it correctly, and not just as he wanted to remember it. He was willing to give it a chance, willing to take the extra step. He had followed her all over Wonderland, how much harder could it be to follow her a bit more?

She ran to him, a smile wide on her face, and threw her arms around him.

Finally.

Finally he was getting that feeling again, the one he had in the casino after he found her being held up. The one of comfort and of being exactly where he was suppose to be.

Finally.

She was smiling at him, looking at him like he had wanted her too for so long. A look he never expected to be aimed his way.

She was happy to see him. It was a wonder he could barely grasp. He had not guessed wrong, he had made the right choice. Even after everything she was glad he was there.

Dipping his head to kiss her, he let all the emotions he had been storing up sweep over him. He had missed her, oh, how he had missed her. Without even trying, in a matter of only a few days, she had gotten under his skin, opening him up more effectively than anyone else ever had before.

She had changed him, made him want to be a better person, a person who could be trusted, and loved, and relied on. In so many ways she had shown him he had something to offer, and he would always be grateful for that, but most of all she had shown him he could love too, and that was the greatest change of all.


End file.
